You might be from Lancaster, PA if . . .

• Your idea of Chicken Pot Pie has nothing to do with a pie and you can't figure out why people might think it would.
• Your driving lessons involved learning to avoid horse droppings.
• You know at least 5 euphemisms for animal manure and at least 4 of them involve food.
• You know how to cook, but not without butter.
• The only spices in your kitchen are salt, pepper and ketchup.
• You've ever missed school for the first day of deer season . . .
  • . . . but didn't get in trouble.
• The following words mean something to you:
  • Fire Hall Wedding
  • Chicken and Waffle Dinner
  • Fire-police
  • Wooly Bear
  • Whoopie Pie
• You spend at least 30 minutes every summer day complaining about New Jersey drivers.
• You don't understand why people would ever want to see the Amish.
• The local Post Office used to be a single-family home and they close between noon and 1 for lunch.
• You have ever ended a sentence with "a while".
• You do not giggle when you see the following signs:
  • Lititz
  • Intercourse
  • Blue Ball
  • Bird-in-Hand
  • Mount Joy [Submitted by A. Bachert]
  • Paradise [Submitted by D. Poskanzer]
  • Peach Bottom [Submitted by W. Brooks]
  • Schuylkill [Submitted by A. Barrett]
• You've heard of 7-11 but you've never seen one.
• You cannot buy beer and wine from the same store.
• Park City has nothing to do with skiing for you.
• Agnes 1972 means something to you and you can tell stories about it.
• You pronounce Lancaster in "Burt Lancaster" differently from Lancaster in "Lancaster, PA".
  • And you giggle at people who say "Aee-mish". [Submitted by B. McDonald]
• You personally know many people with the name:
  • Lapp
  • Lantz
  • Stoltzfus (or Stoltzfoos)
  • Zimmerman
  • Zook
• Your iced tea is sweeter than Pepsi.
• You know someone who repairs gasoline-powered lawn mowers, but is forbidden to own one.
• You think Fasnacht Day and Groundhog Day are national holidays.
• You know that eggs come in either white or brown . . .
  • . . . and you have a preference.
• You think the Mississippi is just a tad wider than the Susquehanna.
• You know who James Buchanan was.
• You can pronounce "Ephrata" [Submitted by C. Peters]
  • . . . and "Strasburg." [Submitted by G. Martin]
• You don't have to be told what Shoo Fly Pie is. [Submitted by L. Martin]
• You outen the lights at the end of the day. [Submitted by G. Blauser]
• You go to the store when the milk is "all". [Submitted by G. Blauser]
• You think orange traffic cones are the natural foliage surrounding Route 30. [Submitted by C. Gresh]
• A "Bud" is not a beer and it's much better than those cheap knockoffs, Hershey's kisses. [Submitted by C. Gresh]
• If they hadn't improved the highway, the trip from Lititz to Park City wouldn't be as long. [Submitted by C. Gresh]
• The word "red" is a verb. [Submitted by D. & L. Xentaras]
• "Come with?" is a complete sentence. [Submitted by K. Estermyer]
• You know what Donkey baseball is. [Submitted by B. Zieseniss]
• You are a manure connoisseur. You can tell just by smell, whether it is cow, pig, chicken or turkey and if it's from a pile or liquid pit. [Submitted by J. Buckwalter]
• You know what a liquid pit is. [Submitted by J. Buckwalter]
• At times, you utter things like, "Throw the cow over the fence some hay." [Submitted by P. Loken, B. Anderson]
• It may be raining, but the question is: "Is it makin' down?" or "Is it really makin' down?" [Submitted by J. L. Mackey Sr.]
• The verb "to be" is useless: "Does Fido need out?" [Submitted by J. Hittinger]
• You remember when Park City Mall had a flea market in the basement. Or worse yet, a skating rink. [Submitted by J. Bowman]
• You know that "long johns" are something you eat, not something you wear. [Submitted by J. Burton]
• You own quilts and know their names. [Submitted by C. Bensinger]
• You know what a Turkey Hill is . . .
  • . . . and you've ditched school to hang out there. [Submitted by B. West]
  • . . . and they're the only place that sells your favorite beverage. [Submitted by A. Ruttkay]
• You've corrected all the errors while watching Witness. [Submitted by A. Terranova]
• Rush hour is on Saturday afternoon -- in the summer. [Submitted by A. Terranova]
• Scrapple --
  • You love it.
  • And yet you know what's in it. [Submitted by A. Terranova]
• "Dinner" and "supper" are different concepts entirely. [Submitted by E. Funk]
• Your wan has vindshield vipers (and so does your station vagon). [Submitted by R. Underwood]
• You reocognize "Twin Kiss" and "Freez and Frizz," knowing that Dairy Queen is a pale imitation. [Submitted by R. Underwood]
• The outhouse at the end of the cornfield isn't, but it has a phone and a fax. [Submitted by H. Talbert]
• Dutch Wonderland is neither Dutch nor much of a Wonderland. [Submitted by B. McDonald]
• You have a craving for ice cream . . .
  • . . . when it snows. [Submitted by K. Del Rance]
• You know "doplic" is indeed a word and nobody can tell you any different. [Submitted by G. Gammache]
• WGAL is the source of all local celebrities and they create quite a stir when they shop in the supermarket. [Submitted by A. Ruttkay]
• You go out of state just to drive on smooth roads. [Submitted by M. Shannauer]
• You've ordered "dippy eggs" for breakfast. [Submitted by M. Schnee, J. Martin, M. Weiser]
• The Green Dragon ain't no Chinese restaurant. [Submitted by T. Bux]
• You know people who don't have cable television in the house, but do have it in their barn. [Submitted by B. Collier]
• Three words: Red Beet Eggs. [Submitted by M. Schnee]
• You see no contradiction in the fact that "Manheim" is a township that is completely different from "Manheim Township". [Submitted by D. Heefner]
• Bacon drippings are an ingredient for making salad dressing. [Submitted by D. Baldwin]
• You think tourist attractions consist of a pretzel factory, a chocolate factory and an Amish family out for a drive. [Submitted by M. Charles]
• You display electric candles in your windows year-round. [Submitted by J. Eckman]
• You know where and when to find the world's second-largest chicken barbecue. [Submitted by S. Harman]
• You have eaten a "yellow meal": yellow chicken, yellow gravy, yellow potato, yellow corn, yellow roll, yellow butter and yellow salad dressing. [Submitted by K. Makuc]
• You buy vegetables from an unattended roadside stand with an "honor box." And you always leave more than the price because you don't have correct change. [Submitted by D. Lewis]
• You know what "chow chow" is. [Submitted by JoAnn]
• You call Route 30 "the bypass". [Submitted by JoAnn]
• Your kids get "rootchy" rather than sit still for too long. [Submitted by A. Barrett]

There is a list similar to this at this link. It's not run by me but you may enjoy it, too. Thanks to K. Fellenbaum for pointing this out.

Any additions or suggestions are welcome. Click here to email them.

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