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On Jan. 4, Chuck Maiden, of Brentwood, included these fateful words in a mail message about the new training room:

"PS. The new training room is currently being labeled as the "CTC", which I think stands for "Cooperative Training Center", but I'm not sure. "

Little did he know that in the spirit of cooperation, support, and all things American, we his fellow co-workers would launch an all out effort to help Chuck uncover the true meaning of the initials "CTC".

In fact, suggestions have been pouring in at such a high rate that we have had to establish the "CTC Support Center", whose function it is to record suggestions, categorize them according to function, and publish a quarterly update for our subscribers.

• NATURE'S BOUNTY
  • Classic Turnip Compost
• THE JOY OF FELLOWSHIP
  • Cellophane Teabag Club
  • Cardboard Toenail Convention
  • Chuck's Transvestite Corral
  • Camembert Toting Cretins
  • Charming Teaser Convention
  • Compulsive Topsoil Crammers
• UNPLEASANT CONDITIONS
  • Creeping Tongue Clap
  • Caroling Trouser Crabs
  • Chronic Tailbone Cramps
  • Crawling Tooth Cooties
  • Curdled Tapioca Clog
  • Crumbled Timber Craving
  • Choking Talcum Cloud
  • Corduroy Thong Chafing
• EDUCATIONAL SERVICES
  • Canadian Tapdance College
• LITTLE KNOWN HISTORICAL EVENTS
  • Crouching Tinker Crusade
• ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE JADED
  • Cretin Traveling Circus
  • Chinese Tophat Chewers
  • Camel Twisting Coneheads
  • Catatonic Trout Choir
  • Cryptic Teamster Ceremony
  • Crumpled Tuba Concerto
  • Crystallized Turd Collection
• HEALTH SERVICES
  • Calculus Trauma Center
  • Constipated Tomcat Calmers
  • Coughing Typist Correctors
• THINGS YOU FIND UNDER THE RUG
  • Condensed Thumb Clippings
• HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS
  • Cruddy Toilet Cleaners
  • Cray Trash Compactor
  • Crotch Tightening Crowbar
  • Ceramic Teapot Crusher
• THE LAST PAGE OF THE MENU
  • Chicken Testicle Clusters
  • Carbonated Toe Cheese
  • Concentrated Tadpole Chowder
  • Curdled Tapeworm Coleslaw
  • Crunchy Toad Crackers
  • Chewy Tiny Caterpillars
  • Cactus Teriyaki Crumpets
  • Cockney Thunder Curry
  • Crispy Tuna Cupcakes
  • Cubic Tofu Clumps
• RELIGIOUS ORDERS
  • Cranky Tarantula Convent
  • Catholic Treacle Chanters
  • Crippled Tycoon Chapel
• THAT LITTLE WHITE ROOM
  • Chrome Turbo Crapper
  • Complimentary Tampon Changer
• RESTAURANTS AND LOUNGES
  • Cosmic Turtle Cafe
  • Clumsy Troglodyte Cantina
• SERVICE INDUSTRIES
  • Cossack Turban Cleaning
  • Comatose Tanning Clinic
  • Crooked Tricycle Cemetery
  • Computer Torture Chamber
  • Confused Trial Cabbie
  • Coed Tango Coupons
  • Cringing Turkey Catalog
• DUBIOUS CAREER OPTIONS
  • Californian Tornado Cleavers
• HARD TO FIND ON THE MAP
  • Carpathian Tugboat Channel
• WEAPONS FOREVER BANNED
  • Concealed Turtle Catapult
  • Compressed Termite Cannon
• LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING
  • Crusty Tavern Cork

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