My friend Meg and I were talking one day and she mentioned that she dreaded the moment at parties where a stranger says "Oh and what do you do?" because as soon as she says "I'm a mathematician" the person instantly responds "Oh, that was my worst subject in school!".
Well, I said, the response I usually get is "You're a mathematician? I can't even balance my check book!". We were both puzzled as to why people would say such things. We decided that people learn a thing to say about every possible career. If they're actually interested in what you're saying, they might say more, but they always have a dummy line they can insert into the conversation. The fact that the canned response might be a conversation-stopper is, presumably, only a secondary worry. The important thing is, never allow a moment of uncomfortable silence to creep into your chatter!
Later, Meg signed up for an art class, and when the instructor asked for her background, Meg cringed, and then explained why. The instructor laughed, and told her that when he tells people he's an artist, the response is "You teach art? I can't even draw a straight line!"
| Career | Automatic Response |
|---|---|
| Artist | I can't even draw a straight line! |
| Auto Mechanic | I can't change a tire! |
| Carpenter | I can't nail two boards together! |
| Computer Programmer | I can't program my VCR! |
| Cook | I can't boil water! |
| Dancer | I have two left feet! |
| Doctor | I can't stand the sight of blood! |
| Driving Instructor | I can't even parallel park! |
| Electrician | I can't change a light bulb! |
| Garbageman | How do you stand the smell? |
| History Professor | I can't remember my wedding anniversary! |
| Librarian | I'll bet you read a lot! |
| Life Guard | I can't even tread water! |
| Linguistics Professor | ...So how many languages do you know? |
| Mailman | Don't your feet hurt? |
| Mathematician | I can't even balance my check book! |
| Musician | I can't carry a tune! |
| Policeman | Have you ever had to shoot someone? |
| Tailor | I can't sew a button back on! |
| Waitress | Aren't people so rude? |
| Writer | I've always wanted to write a book! |
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